Offer, demand or negotiate. Which is better?

In times of desperation, the need to obtain something from people will arise and the methods to get ones’ clutches on the desired item can appear in many forms. One can steal it which would be immoral, not to mention illegal.

One can borrow it in the case of a friend being the person who owns said item. Or when there is high possibility of the owner refusing to share or surrender the item, one can result to offering something in exchange, demanding the item or negotiating for it.

All three strategies are different from one another, painting different outcomes with their pros and cons. But which is better?

When the word ‘offer’ is uttered, people think of peace offering such as the tradition since the olden times for example, Thanksgiving (a holiday spent with family and friends) in the United States of America started when the white people invited the Native Americans to a banquet after the success of their harvest as a token of gratitude to God.

It makes people feel good to give to others. Self-satisfaction is gained when others are grateful and benefit from the thing given.

People also believe that when one offers something out of kindness, one could get something in return as the Latin saying ‘quid pro quo’ suggests ‘something for something’.

Though, some might perceive this idea as a bad thing. People cannot expect the people they help to give back. The help they gave should have been done out of sheer sincerity because sometimes people do not feel obligated to return favours and the helpers will be left with nothing.

The question of ‘was the effort I put in worth the self-satisfaction I got?’ will be running through the helpers’ minds.

Demanding is most commonly viewed negatively. It can be rude when the intonation and words one uses in the demand are harsh. Saying “Wash the dishes now!” which is obviously a rude demand and saying “Could you please wash the dishes now as I need to use them to serve our guests?” which is clearly a polite demand evoke different reactions in people.

Undoubtedly, the former would make people irritable towards the person demanding.

However, some people who cannot stand others controlling over them will simply not give in to any form of demand. Any way of communicating the demand would be fruitless. But if the demand does work, the person who demands it can receive what they want quickly.

When a demand is said eloquently with its reasons clearly explained and its urgency stressed, people rush to have it done fast. And it also pushes the person who was demanded to reach their potential. Without the demand, the person would have probably procrastinated to carry it out.

Negotiating is a discussion of sorts between two parties to achieve an outcome that could benefit both sides. Hence, those involved must have something on the table to offer. It is highly important to have the things offered by both parties of equal value to one another otherwise the negotiation is moot.

Negotiating is all about compromise. It is to please both negotiators; therefore, meeting in the middle is necessary which can involve relenting to the other party a little. This way the negotiators both feel in control and not taken advantage of as opposed to the acts of offering and demanding.

To have the person one is dealing with say “no” has a lesser odd. And once the negotiation is agreed upon, there is no backing out which assures both parties they will get what they negotiated on.

In conclusion, negotiating is an act that has more advantages than offering and demanding. It is a more controlled and calm way for people to get what they want without losing too much. And there is no side that comes out the loser in the negotiation as both agreed on the result of the negotiation willingly.

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Article is written by: 

Nur Jalilah Binti Abdul Aziz, freelance writer of this blog at Zaahara. Interests include blog writing, academic writing and creative writing.

-Photos are taken from google images

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