What Constitutes A Happy Family that we should learn

What is a happy family exactly? What makes a family happy? Come to think of it, what makes a person happy, period? Is it the material possession one owns? Is it the delicious food they eat? Is it the people that they surround themselves with? Could it be all of those things combined? Well, the true definition of a happy family in an Islamic context is a family that is content with whatever Allah SWT has bestowed upon them as well as a family that strives to please Allah in every way possible.

When I think about a happy family, I can’t help but think of my own as we are obviously quite content with our lot and rarely do we feel that unrooted, undulating feeling one gets as if they were lost at sea, searching forevermore for that one thing that can fill the void in their souls. A happy content family is one that loves. Truly loving one another regardless of their abilities, regardless of the occupation one may have, regardless of how much money one brings back home. Just loving each other purely, sincerely because Allah SWT commands it and because we simply do.

A happy family isn’t one that withholds showing open love and affection. It isn’t a family that shies away from kissing or cuddling each other. It isn’t a family that doesn’t tell each other “I love you”. It isn’t a family that would rather go out and spend time with friends only to groan with reluctance when their siblings or parents ask to spend time with them. As a 27 year old who still lives with her parents, I have to admit that we still have a very close bond with one another.

My mother is someone that I can confess most everything about myself and I know my siblings also share the same disposition with me. We can still cuddle with one another and chat about our day without a care in the world. Even issues like marriage, dating and whatever else that other youths tend to consider taboo topics to talk about with their parents isn’t an issue with our family.

When I think about a family that is happy, I think about the traditions that we have grown up with that is rooted deep within our very souls. My dad, going out for his Jamaah Tabligh for three days over the weekend, was a common thing to occur as we grew up. At night, aside from our Cinderella and Pocahontas bed time stories were the stories about our Prophet Muhammad and the other messengers and prophets as well.

I remember thinking in awe about how Nabi Yunus was swallowed by a whale and yet survived the encounter by the grace of God. It was amazing listening to all these wonderful stories and being told that they were true. I remember the times me and my sisters stayed up to the wee hours at night helping our mother prepare the Raya feast the next morning. We’d talk to each other incessantly while chopping, stirring, shredding and whatever else to make our rendang, kuah kacang and serunding.

We still do these things and it’s made us grow up into individuals that put more value in good nutritious homecooked meal above a fancy dinner at Victoria Station. We value putting our faith into Allah SWT when my father leaves us for the weekend to follow the Jamaah.

A happy family is one that doesn’t put money and material things above all other things. Muslims should all always put the idea that one earns money in order to please Allah SWT because with that money you can fulfil your duties as a Muslim (putting a roof over your family, clothing them, being able to travel to perfom your haji, etc).

It is not for you to buy that sleek Porsche you want so that you can show off to other people that you are made of money. It is not for you get a fancy Michael Kors handbag so that you can parade it in front of all the other mothers when you go for a PIBG meeting. It is not for you to advertise how very trendy you are because you always without fail own the latest iPhone regardless of whether your previous phone was still functioning or not.

When a family is happy, the money you earn isn’t a tool to use for boasting or bragging but it is used instead to make your family members as happy as possible. For what is a silly sports car compared to a warm comfortable bed for everyone to cuddle on and lounge about? What is the value of a Michael Kors bag to buying the best groceries so that your family can cook up the best meals there ever was? Too many people are so consumed with the need to earn lots so that they could be rich and have worldly possessions.

This is not good in the eyes of Islam as worldly possessions are merely objects that chan you the world which is only temporary. We must instead focus more on making our afterlife rich by striving to fulfil all our duties as a Muslim.

A happy family can enjoy simply spending time at home without the need to go outside and waste their money for entertainment. Okay, sure, every once in a while, we too will go out as a family to watch a movie or get some dinner at a restaurant but for the most part of my life, we have always loved staying at home.

Cuddling on the sofa set, with some titbits like popcorn or our ever favourite Chachos and nice movie, a cup of hot frothy coffee and we’re all set. Nothing can beat how much fun we have when we simply enjoy each other’s company. We can chat about the show or film afterwards and still prefer it to leaving the house.

I think the key to making sure that your home is a happy place for the family to congregate to is to make it a comfortable and pleasant atmosphere so that each and every single member looks forward to returning home at the end of a hard day’s work.

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Article is written by: 

Nur Jalilah Binti Abdul Aziz, freelance writer of this blog at Zaahara. Interests include blog writing, academic writing and creative writing.

-Photos are taken from google images

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